


What I want

by Rose_in_crayons



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Keith is an awkward boi but he’s trying his best, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-05 08:14:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18362102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rose_in_crayons/pseuds/Rose_in_crayons
Summary: Lance has been having nightmares lately—detailed, gory nightmares where he loses everything. Will Keith help him find peace? Or will some aspects of Lance’s worst nightmares extend into reality?





	What I want

**Author's Note:**

> This is sorta just an AU where Klance are cuddle buddies whenever one of them has a nightmare and they talk about deep shiz. Also I wrote this forever ago so I apologize in advance lmao

_We had a bonding moment! I cradled you in my arms!”_

_Lance shook his head. “Nope, don’t remember. Didn’t happen.”_

_If only. If only he didn’t remember._

|-

For the third night in a row, Lance woke up in a cold sweat, his scream of utter terror catching in his throat, choking him as he gripped the bed sheets tightly in his fists, feeling hot tears trickle in a steady stream down his cheeks.

He sat there, in the inky darkness, gasping and panting, biting back the sob that was rising in his chest. _It’s just a dream. It’s just a dream. For god’s sake, it’s just a dream._

It had been the same nightmare for the past three days, and no matter how much he tried to tell himself it wasn’t real, the grotesque images of what he’d seen and the horrible sounds he’d heard were seared into his memory with the pain and accuracy of a branding iron. Sendak getting the best of them. The Galra invading earth. The Paladins, dying, one by one, right before his eyes. Everyone he’d ever known and loved perishing at the merciless hands of Zarkon and his minions.

He ran a hand through his unkempt hair, wiping at his eyes as he let out a sniffle. Everyone else had adapted so quickly, easily, _fearlessly_ to becoming a Paladin of Voltron- something he couldn’t even begin to fathom. Despite Lance’s acts of bravado, he really was scared- and honestly, he had plenty of reason to be. He could _die_ out here, having never seen anyone he loved back on earth ever again.

He was already homesick, and it had only been- what, a month? He missed his mom, his siblings, taking walks down Varadero beach, sharing garlic knots with his dad, making churros with his abuelita, staring up at the stars from within his planet’s atmosphere. As a kid, he used to wonder what might be up there, what might be _out_ there- and now that he knew, he sort of wished he didn’t.

 _Don’t say that._ His feet hit the cold, hard floor of the castle and he shivered, the metallic sensation chilling him to the bone. He knew that he was, in a way, insanely lucky to be out here, in space, saving the universe- but in all honesty, he just wanted to go home. He wanted earth, he wanted some form of comfort, but the comfort he was so desperately grasping for couldn’t be found in his empty, dark room.

_I need to talk to someone._

Shiro seemed like the most logical option… but he needed his rest. Hunk? No… Hunk was his best friend, sure, but it seemed like he’d been growing closer with Pidge lately, and the two of them would never let him hear the end of it if he woke them up because of a nightmare… so that eliminated waking up Pidge, too. Allura? She’d most likely kick him out of her room for disturbing her. Coran was really scary when he was sleep-deprived, so that left only one option… and it wasn’t one he was too eager to face.

Sure, he and Keith had certainly had their moments—the aftermath of the battle with Sendak (which he refused to admit he remembered), teasing each other instead of outright fighting, and he’d tried his best to at least be civil and accept his ideas, but… that didn’t mean Keith would let him in, whether the situation was figurative or literal.

The thought of sneaking into his room and waking him up made him oddly nervous, as if a thousand anxious butterflies were fluttering frantically in his chest, longing to escape, always present and never entirely dormant. He stepped out into the dim hallway anyway, his now lion-slipper-clad feet on some sort of autopilot as he padded softly down the hall to Keith’s room.

He wiped at his eyes a few more times, knowing they were probably reddened beyond all belief, but he still didn’t want Keith to know he’d been crying. The red paladin already had a ton of blackmail on him- he didn’t want this to be the cherry on top of the embarrassment sundae. He traced his fingers hesitantly along the door’s glowing blue pattern before knocking, hoping it was loud enough for Keith to hear.

He heard a soft groan of protest from inside the room, then the _thud_ of someone’s feet swinging to the floor. He waited, butterflies in his stomach fluttering with increasing frenzy as the door whirred open and Keith became visible, inch by inch, on the other side.

“Lance? What… what are you doing here?” Keith asked, stifling an enormous yawn with one hand. His mullet was even messier than usual, and his voice was slightly deeper and more gravelly from sleep, though nothing in it sounded hostile or even annoyed. He almost sounded… concerned. “It’s three in the morning.”

Lance shuffled from foot to slippered foot, unable to meet Keith’s eyes. He suddenly felt immensely stupid. Why the hell had he even come here in the first place? Keith needed rest just as much as the next Paladin did- so why had Lance gone to him?

“I—uh… I’m really sorry about waking you up. It’s just… I had a nightmare, and I couldn’t fall back asleep, and I didn’t want to sit alone in my dark room because that only made it worse and I didn’t want to wake up Shiro because he needs to rest more than anyone and Ididn’twanttowakeuptheothersbecausethey’dmakefunofmeand-“

“Slow down,” Keith interjected before Lance could babble any faster. “I get the idea. Uh… here, why don’t you come in and tell me what happened? It might make you feel better to talk about it.”

Lance blinked a few times, processing Keith’s request. He had been dreading the red Paladin deciding to turn him away what couldn’t have been a minute ago- and now he was inviting Lance into his room to talk? Keith, who hardly ever said a word to him unless it was a snarky quip or a response to Lance’s hostile remarks? He couldn’t believe it, but he quickly collected himself. “Um… okay, sure.” He watched as Keith stepped aside, and he could feel his legs moving again- and then he was in Keith’s room.

It was a lot cleaner and a lot less depressing than he’d thought it would be- the Red Paladin’s signature jacket hung from a hook on the wall, there were a few posters from the space mall in different alien languages plastered on the wall, and his blade lay glinting in the low light on the nightstand. It almost reminded him of his old bedroom back on earth, which only caused another wave of sadness to crash over him, making it hard to breathe.

Keith sat down on the edge of the bed, awkwardly patting the space next to him. “Tell me everything.”

And Lance did.

He hesitantly got into the details of the dream at first, but soon enough he couldn’t stop himself as image after image, word after word, fear after fear after fear he had was gushing out of his mouth as fast as his lips and brain would allow and accommodate for.

He hated it. He _hated_ feeling so emotionally vulnerable, but he couldn’t help it. How was he supposed to hold it in?

The next thing he knew, he was sobbing into Keith’s shirt while Keith held him, stiffly- but not unaffectionately- patting his back. It was a long time before he managed to pull himself together, but eventually the sobs that racked his chest quelled to quiet shaking, and the tears once again streaming down his cheeks ceased their once-relentless flow.

“I… I’m sorry,” he hiccuped quietly, breathing in and out steadily in a weak attempt to rein in his emotions. “I… that wasn’t—”

“I know,” Keith answered, an understanding hint of warmth in his voice that Lance hadn’t ever heard before. “It’s okay. It’s okay to be scared of the situation we’re in. Deep down, all of us are.”

Lance scoffed, still attempting in vain to get his breathing under control. “Uh huh, sure. Even, I don’t know… _Shiro_?” He asked dubiously.

Keith looked at him—seriously, but not exactly harshly. “ _Especially_ Shiro. He’s the team leader—you realize that a single order or maneuver gone awry when we’ve formed Voltron could get us all killed, right? And he knows that—every single time we do anything remotely dangerous, we could all wind up dead, and he’d be the one to take responsibility for it.”

Lance looked down at the floor of Keith’s bedroom, feeling his tear-stained face suddenly grow hot with embarrassment. “Oh... I guess I never really thought of it that way.” He paused for a minute, wiping at his eyes. “But it’s still really hard imagining him being scared. Or any of you, for that matter. You’re all so… so… inhuman, somehow. You’re brave, and smart, and you all adapted so quickly to being Paladins… none of that really describes me.”

 _Well, two of us are aliens, so the whole inhuman thing kind of makes sense,_ Keith thought. Now wasn’t the time for his weird sense of humor though—Lance needed him. He sighed softly, the exhale somehow exasperated and amused and sad all at once. “Trust me… it’s all pretend. We’re faking it, for the sake of the universe. You’re a pretty open person, so it’s a lot harder for you. You might express it differently than the rest of us, but you’re pretty brave, Lance. Shooting Sendak’s arm off immediately after emerging from a coma? That’s quite a stunt to pull.” 

This earned a small snort from Lance, but that was all Keith needed to know he was finally getting through to him. “And you might not show it one-hundred percent of the time, but you’re really smart- and a lot more sensible than me. As for being a Paladin… you’ll get there. I promise.”

Lance glanced at the red Paladin, shooting him a watery smile. “Thanks.” He realized for the first time that Keith’s arm was still draped across his shoulders. “Oh—uh—”

“Sorry—”

“No, it’s fine—”

“Let me just—” Keith started to pull away.

“WAIT!” Lance’s voice was a notch too loud as he grabbed Keith’s arm, something like desperation etched into his expression.

They stayed frozen that way for a moment, Keith seeming incredibly confused and Lance looking flustered out of his wits. It was Keith who finally broke the silence. 

“Okay.” 

He slid his arm back into place around Lance’s shoulder, and Lance relaxed into Keith’s chest, his eyes shut, seeming content once more.

“Sorry for yelling,” Lance murmured tiredly, to Keith’s surprise. “It’s just been so long since I’ve...” he took a long, pregnant pause. “Since... I’ve been held like this.”

Okay—Keith couldn’t understand Lance at all. 

One minute, it seemed like they might actually be _friends_ , and the next, they were bickering back and forth again. He couldn’t wrap his brain around it. It’d been this way for him ever since they were kids together at the Garrison—even though Lance didn’t remember that, either. Like he probably wouldn’t “remember” this.

He’d just have to enjoy it while it lasted.

“It’s okay,” Keith muttered, slowly sliding his other arm around Lance and embracing him. Lance hummed softly, practically melting into Keith’s touch. After a while, his breathing slowly evened out, and as the minutes ticked by, Keith steadily holding him, Lance fell asleep in his arms.

Keith couldn’t help but chuckle softly, gently lowering Lance down so his head was resting on Keith’s pillow. _Damn, this boy can fall asleep anywhere_. He studied Lance’s face for a few minutes in the low light of the room. He looked so peaceful—so different from the scared, shaking boy he’d opened the door to just a little while ago, so different from the cocky, overconfident person he was… or maybe pretended to be. Keith could guess that it was a façade based on what had happened tonight.

He didn’t want to wake Lance back up, but he needed sleep, too- he was just as exhausted as the rest of the team was. Eventually, he decided to just throw caution to the wind, flicking off the light switch and fumbling in the dark for the edge of the blanket, sidling in slowly next to Lance.

 _What the hell am I doing?_ He wondered vaguely, and the thought echoed in the back of his mind a few times, eventually fading to nothing when he couldn’t find an immediate answer. He kept his arms crossed stiffly over his chest, his heart pounding so loudly he could imagine its reverberations in the otherwise silent room.

Why was he so afraid to touch Lance?

 _Because it’s everything you’ve ever wanted,_ some small part of him whispered, and in that moment Lance, still asleep, murmured something unintelligible and, without warning, cuddled closer to Keith.

Keith took a deep breath, trying in vain to calm his still-racing heartbeat, and slowly, _slowly_ wrapped an arm around Lance. The other Paladin sighed softly, melting into Keith much as he had done earlier. Keith gradually began to calm down, and as the heaviness of sleep gradually settled over him like a warm, thick blanket, Lance’s breath warm and sweet in his ear, the answer to his earlier question was suddenly obvious. 

_What I want. I’m doing what I’ve always wanted to,_ he concluded, just before his eyelids fluttered shut.


End file.
